Love Is Who I Breathe For

 

 

I am staying alive for you, Love

I’m staying alive for you

Because of who you are to me 

It’s now what I must do

It would be easy to give up

It would be freeing to let go

But there you are still wanting me here

Still needing me at home

This world, this life, is hard to believe in

But you still believe in me

So how can I do much else right now

But what I need to do to still breathe 

Every breath I take is hard for me

But I will breathe them now for you

Because of who you are to me

It’s what I have to do

I’ve seen what pain looks like

In the eyes of those who’ve lost

How can I willingly let them grieve

It’s much too high of a cost

So I will breathe for you now 

I will stay alive for you 

As long as I can, as long as I’m able

It is what I hope to do

Hope is what I hang on to now

Hope and Faith and Love 

Love is what will change me

It has to be enough

So I will love and be loved

And I will start today

If Love is all I have left in me

Then Love will lead the way

Yes, Love is who I breathe for

Love is the breath in me 

I will go on, I will live on

For you Love, I will be

©️ Ruby Neumann

Written September 27, 2026

Faraway Friend

 

To you, my friend, my faraway friend

The one I may never meet

I want to take this moment to say

Why your friendship just can't be beat

We communicate with letters 

Or postcards via mail 

Your presence in my post box 

Is joyousness without fail

There are far less expectations 

That proximity often demands 

We just write and respond to each other

The work is all in our hands

No need to clear our schedules 

No doubts if time flies by

Between expected visits or calls

When we're left to wonder why

It doesn't take long to write a letter

It doesn't cost more than a card  

And a stamp or a bit of paper

I can afford this more by far

I just have to go to the post box

I don't have to drive alone 

To a neighbouring town or city

And take hours away from home 

When I write a letter

I can freely share my thoughts 

I'm never interrupted 

So I rarely feel distraught 

So I never get to hug you

I can't cry or laugh with you

But your card and letter are a balm to my soul

An embrace I can always hang on to

My faraway friend, the more attached we get

The dream is always there

Maybe in our travels, that we

Someday a hug could share

But if that day never comes 

Remember your value, please

Your friendship was never second best

You are always a true friend to me

© Ruby Neumann

Poet’s Note:  (Written January 2, 2026). This poem is written not just to convey the joys of faraway friends, but also to understand that close in-person friendships come with different challenges.  I don’t want to imply that I would rather just have faraway friends, but somedays those friendships feel less far away than the friends that are geographically closer, but scheduling conflicts and time restraints often make in person visits and long phone calls harder to do.  

I have a lot less expectations on my faraway friends.  Maybe that is why it is easier to want more of them.  I can always add another penpal on my address list.  It’s not as easy to add another girlfriend into my life.  

Hidden in the Stars

Earth is my home

Earth is where I drew my first breath

Where I will draw the last

Earth is filled with family

Family with two legs, four legs, many legs and no legs

Somehow are all connected 

All descended from the same stars

Like abandoned children

Longing to know their parents

They are the reason we are here

But how do I know the Stars that gave me life

When some may not even exist anymore 

What stories do they hold that are out of reach 

What truths are hidden in the gaseous temperatures of their existence

They hide themselves from me when I’m awake

They come out and play when I’m asleep

Maybe someone has answers for all my questions

But no one can give me truth

Truth does not dwell on Earth

Truth is hidden in the Stars 

© Ruby Neumann 

Poet's Note: Written June 27, 2024

It was Rob Bell who introduced me to the idea that "I am stardust".  Neil Degrasse Tyson confirms Rob Bell's story.  So I like to believe it.  That's right... believe it!  I have no access to what so many feel like they do have access to... "Truth".  Am I so bold to state it here that I don't believe we have access to anything so foundational as the "truth".  We have our perceptions, opinions, beliefs, interpretations,  imaginings and understandings,  but who really has the truth?  I would like to imagine that there is truth... but it is hidden in the very stars that gave us life.  It's inaccessible... beyond everything we can reach.  That is amazing and worth celebrating.  No one has it all together... we are little creatures trying to do our best to understand... we can't even come close.   

Your Better God

You've made yourself a better God

Don't you see

Don't you see

You've made yourself a better God

At least it's plain to me

Your God is good, your God is kind

Your God won't condemn you for using your mind

Your God isn't threatened by words that I say

Your God, in you, doesn't walk away

You've made yourself a better God

Take a look 

Take a look

You've made yourself a better God

Than the one that's in the book

Your God doesn't kill people that your God doesn't like

Your God doesn't ravage nations out of spite

Your God didn't make all the evil around you 

Your God only holds to a love that is true 

You've made yourself a better God

That's okay

That's okay 

You've made yourself a better God

To get you through your night and day

I understand now why your God is so nice

Why your God doesn't have a heart made of ice

I wish the God you made was true 

Because that God was made in the image of you

© Ruby Neumann 

Poet's Note: Written February 21, 2024 at around 1:30 am.   I hate writing poetry that I feel like I can't share with the ones who inspire it.  I had a few Christians in mind when I wrote this.  Part of me wishes I had access to some of the vitriol that other agnostics/atheists experience from fundamentalism.  Then maybe I would be justified in feeling some disgust for Christianity as a whole.  My problem is that most of the Christians around me are still nice.  I think that is because of the "Better God".  I am still disgusted at Christianity as a whole system.  But the people... well... some of them... it's obvious that God has evolved along with them.  They weren't made in the image of the Biblical God, like many of them believe.  When "God" is made in the image of "you", he takes on the character traits of "you".  If you are a nice person, how can your "God" be anything but nice.  

To clear up so poetic prose... when I say that I wish "The Better God" was true... That is only if I had to choose between "The Better God" vs the "God of the Bible". I like the evolved one much better.  I still think "God" is unnecessary as a whole... but poetically, I understand that most people still need some kind of "God". I just wish they could understand that the "God" they say is shining through them... is actually them shining.  They have just made "God" in their own image.  

Driving is a Suicide Attempt

Almost every day I do something

That could take me out for good

Not thinking of the gravity

Or even if I could

It’s not that I want out yet

I just need to do this thing

I need to risk my life

It’s part of my routine

But now I think a little more

Of the possibility 

That death could take me today

That this time it could be me

Because yesterday it was you that died

Doing what I do now

Your memory floats around in my mind

And I have to keep moving somehow

Can I even hide in a place

Where Thanatos* can’t find me  

Can I even stop living 

Because it’s living that will kill me

So I leave this morning and I think of you

And hope I return home soon

That the asphalt won’t be my final bed

That the highway won’t lead to my tomb

© Ruby Neumann 

Poet’s Note

Written January 7, 2024.  Thinking today of the human road kill that has left a mark on my life.  I can’t even look at a splattered bug on my windshield and not think of them.  It pains me to think that every day we do things that can take us out, because we remember those who were taken out by doing the same thing.  I have skydived and bungee jumped… and it’s driving my truck that is the greater risk to my life.  

* Thanatos is the greek God who escorted people from the place where they died to the underworld, the realm of Hades.  

Message

What unseen baby do I submit to the slaughter

Oops!

… to the analysis of a poetry contest. 

My poems are my children.

Created from the emotional sweat of my life.

Their veins move the blood born of my tragedy and tears.

How then can I give any of them away to be poked and prodded

by someone who has not witnessed those tears? 

Why must I be tempted to participate?

For Money?

For Fame?

For Accolade?

And then to give my words away and my name doesn't go with them.

How lonely they will be.  

Robin Williams come back to life and remind the world that it is all…

"EXCREMENT!" 

That poetry is meant to be savoured, not sawed.

No, I will not surrender the sons and daughters of my emotions to be slaves anymore! 

***

 

Then what is this?

Is this not a new child?

Is this not an offspring born from my anger?

Maybe… but more than a poem, this a message.  

Let this be the child that willingly goes into battle 

to save her siblings from humiliation and death.  

© Ruby Neumann

Poet's Note:  

Written on October 24, 2023… in response to an invitation to submit a poem on line to a World Poetry Contest out of Ireland for the Moth Magazine.  The deadline for submission is New Years Eve.  

Dec 31, 2023:  I guess I'm not submitting this poem to the contest.  I might have had it been easier to process payment.  So I will publish it here and give it a home among it's "siblings".  

This year hasn't been much of a poetry writing year.  It's been a puzzling year, so I took a picture of puzzle pieces I arranged into the word "poetry", so that they would meet together here.  Poems are puzzles and puzzles are poems.  So maybe I am still "The Precious Poet"... even though I am also "The Precious Puzzler" 

Wind blow death away

Wind blow death away 

I will sit and listen to the voice of one lone rooster 

This morning his voice matters 

Because this day will be his last 

© Ruby Neumann

Poet's Note:  Written August 26, 2023. 

I wrote this poem on a Saturday morning.  I was overnighting at my friends place, and on the Saturday schedule was a butchering event.  We had set up on Friday evening, and she was having some friends over to help her butcher about fifteen chickens.  That Saturday morning before the sun was even up, I sad on the deck and the rooster was doing his morning calling.  He had no idea that it was his last day.  He just sang like he sang before.  Maybe it was grief  or just the awareness that life sacrifices so life can continue.  I just sat and listened to the rooster and let him sing his last song with a listening ear.  

White Wave

She stands firm on the ocean's edge

With her feet buried in the sand

She watches the waves pour in

Kissing the land

Enamoured by the mystery

The movement on the shore

Wonder is painted on her heart

As she longs for more

Her mother named her "White Wave"

Not knowing one day she would find

A love and passion for the waters

That would bless her soul and her mind

The warmth of the sun

Caresses her skin

As she breathes

She feels Spirit within

Her hope lies not in

What she feels or sees

She looks beyond to 

Something more real

She walks to the water

The waves wash her feet

Her journey here with us

Is now complete

         * * * 

"White Wave" 

Go and be free

We will miss you

We will grieve

But your love remains here with us

To grow and bloom

In our hearts, for you

There will always be room. 

© Ruby Neumann

Poet's Note: 

Written  July 21, 2023 

  

The name Jennifer comes from Welsh name "Gwenhwyfar" which means means "White Wave"  

It seems fitting for a woman who loves warm places, ocean beaches and the water found there.  

This is the poem I wrote for my sister.  She breathes no longer.  So many stories circulate as to what or where she is now.  But as the song says... I will find her footprints in the sand, I will find her voice in the white waves that lap on the shores of whatever lake or ocean I find myself at.  As I post this... it is August 4, Hawaii time... (technically the fifth, but whose keeping track).  August 4 is her son's birthday.  It's been six and a half years since our tears and my sad poems  started because of him.  This poem was written three days after her motorcycle accident.  The day my big sister died.