I woke up unforgiving today
A four letter word brought the pain back my way
A four letter word brought the pain back my way
And I remembered you and the hatred played
Of what you almost took from me that day
I thought I healed, but it didn’t stay
I am more angry now, and I regret to say
Poet's Note: (Written Feb 2, 2020 early morning) In this moment, I am thinking that forgiveness isn't something we should do, we must do or we have to do... Forgiveness can only be the response of our need to love. Love is what heals, and forgiveness happens because the Love is real, not forced. So when Love takes its time in becoming real... I end up feeling like I felt this morning.
I will be honest, I don't love the person that inspired this poem. This person almost took something priceless from me... in a moment. It was almost two decades ago, and the best metaphor I can come up with comes from the Shack movie. I still have my hands around his throat.
There have been triggers over the last few years that have reminded me that I still am unforgiving towards him. I think I realized something this morning. I was never able to express my anger. I had to bury it... because of who that person was. So that anger still bubbles inside, waiting for an exit, so one day I can forgive and take my hands off his throat.
