Today, I’ll spend time with my dad in my dreams
Maybe a waste of time it seems
It may seem lazy to stay in bed
But I can’t get the pictures of him out of my head
So I’ll lay down and close my eyes
And maybe those pictures will come alive
Maybe I’ll find myself back on the farms
Back with him and me in his arms
If I had control of where we would be
I’d pick the farm in Flatrock for the first memory
We take Champ and Brownie and go for a walk
Our sheepdog friends lend their ear as we talk
We talk about school and sheep and stuff
“We have a lot in common.” He says with a laugh
The next place we go is the farm in Round Hill
I’m grown up; he’s retired and there’s time to just chill
We hang out in his shop and make sawdust fly
Knowing this won’t last, I start to cry
He looks at me with no surprise
Takes out a clean handkerchief and wipes my eyes
“You always have me inside your dreams
Lay down, close your eyes, and relive our years
Remember the good, bypass the bad
And know I love you. I’m your Dad
I wish I could take your pain away
But instead, I’ll give you this place to play
To be with me as long as you need
I’ll be the Dad who lives in your dreams”
© Ruby Neumann
Poet's Note:
I wrote this on Father's Day 2017 (June 18). Today, as I post this on my blog, February 9, it is my Opa's birthday. My Opa was my Dad's Dad. He was born 114 years ago and has been "missing" from our lives for almost 29 years. My dad has been "missing" for 11 years. I wanted to post this on January 28th, the anniversary of my Dad's passing. But I missed posting it, so I wanted to wait to today and maybe honour both dads... my dad and my dad's dad, because I am missing them both. The poem could work for Opa too. I remember spending time in his shop on the farm and taking walks with him and his dog Curly.
* * *
About a month after my Opa passed away, my dad was having a sad moment and I asked him about it and he told me...
"I just realized I lost my dad."
I didn't think much of it then, because I couldn't relate to what that meant for him, until he had passed and that moment came for me.
Maybe today, I will lay down on my bed, close my eyes and spend time with both of them in my dreams. Because I can.
* * *
* * *
About a month after my Opa passed away, my dad was having a sad moment and I asked him about it and he told me...
"I just realized I lost my dad."
I didn't think much of it then, because I couldn't relate to what that meant for him, until he had passed and that moment came for me.
Maybe today, I will lay down on my bed, close my eyes and spend time with both of them in my dreams. Because I can.
* * *
The picture I chose for this post is of my Dad and his parents on the Flatrock Farm in the 1950's. It is one of my favourite pictures of a collection of pictures that my Dad took. To see a collection of my Dad's photography from the 1950's, check out this Youtube link. Journey back to the 50's.
