Light a Candle

Life

When can I bid you farewell 

When can I surrender my breath to the Creator 

When can I let go


Minutes left

Someone else will grant my wish

And the pain will soon end


And I will soon dance with the snowflakes 


Cry for me 

Smile for me

Remember me

Love me


I will be okay

I will be held 

I will know peace 

I will be loved


Life

Oh Life

Let me go


Light a candle for me

I will feel the warmth of the flame

And let it, the current of the hot air,

Carry me beyond the sunset


Goodbye sweet friend


© Ruby Neumann



Poet's Note: I wrote this poem February 12, 2022.  Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD) may still be met with some controversy in some circles.  For me, the controversy ended when I held our cat Tigger and a vet gave him an injection that ended his pain (January 28, 2013) .  


I didn't write this poem for Tigger, I wrote it for a friend of my husband's whose journey was much like Tigger's.  He had a good life, but the he had the freedom to have someone end his life before the pain was too much and life for him was no longer life.  


What we did for Tigger some have labeled as humane... but some still think that humans don't deserve the same humane treatment as our cat did.  So why is it labeled as humane then?  


I am thankful that our government finally gave that freedom to humans to leave this world with the grace and dignity that our cat was given.  




A Letter to Mama

 Dear Mama, it's me

Your handsome son

Here's a letter for you

A very special one


Dear Mama, it's me

Your beautiful daughter 

I'm sending you a letter

 A message like no other


My love is still with you

I wasn't a dream

I know you miss me

Your tears are seen


It was my only  purpose

Just to be with you

That was enough of a goal

And that is so true


The world didn't know me

But Mama that's okay

It was enough for me

Within you to stay


I am a part of you 

I always will be

I am not gone

From your memory


We had something special

And it's okay if you cry

No one else has to know

Just you and I


Thank you Mama

For all the love you gave

For the heartache you welcomed

When I went away


Thank you Mama

For wanting me

Our love will live on

For eternity


© Ruby Neumann




Poet's Note:  Written January 18, 2022


I wrote this poem in response to a story that I heard on a grief podcast.  The story compelled me… it was a grandpa sharing the story of losing his granddaughter the day she was born.  He also shared that his wife (the grandmother) also lost a baby boy weeks before term.  Losing her granddaughter brought back the memories of losing her son.  


This story hit home when I discovered that I knew these grandparents and they were very special people in my life.  I sent two copies of the poem to my friend.  One for her "from" her son, and one for her daughter-in-law "from" her granddaughter.   It is the same poem with two different first stanzas.  


I feel almost too brave when I write poems like this.  Who am I to write from the perspective of that which is unknown to me.  I have never carried a child in my life.  I was a child, but I made it through my Mom's birth canal to go on and live. I have never cried those kind of tears.   My mother didn't cry those kind of tears for me. 


  I am grateful at the response I got from my friend.  


"Thank you so much for the beautiful poem. Truly .... a precious gift, Ruby. I just never considered some of the sentiments you expressed. 'It was my only purpose just to be with you' .... that was powerful.

You are so right ... no one else can understand the depth of the loss of one's pre-born child."


I would hope that every mother that cries those kind of tears... would be embraced with the awareness that it was enough for that baby just to be with Mama.  That was enough purpose.  There was enough fulfillment in that child's life just to be carried for a while.  


The Languages of Love

Love showed up today of all days

Love showed up for me in five different ways


You sent me a message with a smiling emoji

Today of all days, you were thinking of me


You also sent me a gift, a little something to say

I was on your mind when you went shopping today


I'm not feeling so good, and the snow still falls

So you came by my house and shovelled my walk


Before you left, you came by for a hug

Your embrace reminded me of your unwavering Love


Then I invited you in and we chatted a while

Your visit left my face and my heart with a smile


Your TEXT,  TRINKET, TASK, TOUCH and TIME

Spoke Love  to me in your language and mine


Love won't always look or sound the same

But in a mix of expressions, it showed up today


So thank you for loving me in five different ways

And thank you for loving me today of all days

© Ruby Neumann



Poet's Note: Written 6:00 am on Valentine's Day.  Yesterday I was in a Zoom call with some family and friends.  We talked about Love and Love languages and expressions and words of love.  Love looks so very different to so many different people.  Maybe that is why we have five different languages and countless ways of expressing love.  It honours the differences in each other.  


I am still a novice at Love.  I have so much to learn and so much to do and so many people to love.  Love is what holds this universe together.  I hope we can embrace that more than just today.  But let's remember it today and go ahead on this remarkable journey we call Love.  

When Love Drives Out Fear

When fear drives out love 

Our world stands divided 

When fear drives out love

Hope seems lost 

When people choose fear

No one sees beauty 

No one knows grace

When fear drives out love 


But when  Love drives out fear 

The poor don’t go hungry 

When Love drives out fear

Hatred can’t breathe 

When Love is the wind 

Hope again blows near

The world is worth saving 

When Love drives out fear


When fear drives out love

Sisters stop their singing 

When fear drives out Love 

Brothers go to war

When families choose fear

No one seeks truth

Shame robs our joy

When fear drives out love 


But when Love drives out fear

Mothers embrace 

When Love drives out fear

Fathers forgive 

When Love is the source

Truth is not lost

Joy will be found

When Love drives out fear


Families will find faith

Each heart will know peace

When Love and only LOVE drives out Fear


© Ruby Neumann





Poet's Note:  I wrote this at 3:00 in the morning on February 11.  It's February... the month of love so I'm told.  It's three days before Valentine's Day.  Why not be thinking about love.  

For two years, I have had this message lining every fibre of my being.  Fear drives out Love.... reality... Love drives out fear... what needs to happen for the long term good of everyone in our families and everyone in the world.  This morning, I put words to the message.  Maybe it will find a melody in time and then it becomes a song... but for now, it is beautiful as a poem.   The picture I chose is of my cats Sofie and Twinkel, curled up together in the shape of a heart.  But more than just the shape of their bodies, their spirit and energy shows what it looks like When Love Drives out Fear.    

Who’s Angry When The Wind Blows?


Hard

   Strong

      Frightening 

         Destructive 

             Dark

I am blind not deaf 

       to the anger of the wind


I huddle In my house 

       In my bed

Waiting 

   For daylight


How do I sleep 

           when the anger 

     is all around me

Turning me to fear

             How do I sleep

Who do I blame


                      The Human

              The Divine

     The Earth


   Someone sent the wind

              Someone is angry

But who


I still can’t sleep

    But now the storm rages in my mind

© Ruby Neumann



Poet's Note:  I wrote this February 10, 2022... While the wind was outside... "being angry".  My phone was telling me the wind speed was around 35 Km/hr.  Maybe the wind is just another reminder of how little I am certain about.  Thus the question.  Maybe no one or nothing is angry.  Then why am I scared at night when it is storming outside.  I get scared when someone gets angry.   So maybe someone or something is angry when the wind blows.  

Magpie

Magpie


Fly over me again

And let me see

I am not alone


Magpie


Black and White

Until you fly 

And then I can see 

Wings of  beauty 


Magpie


Sing a captivating song

A song of truth

For only the deaf and I will listen


Magpie


Sit with me 

Remind me

That the Divine is in everything


Magpie 


I will feed you

I will shelter you

You are safe with me


© Ruby Neumann



Poet's Note:  Written February 6, 2021.  More hot tub inspiration.  I think the Magpie is my spirit bird.  There is something about this bird that captivates me.  My animosity for this creature is in the past.   

"I now have the patience and the ears to hear you and to see you for the beauty you bring to me and all of nature around me.  Forgive me for the years I hated you.  Let me bathe in the love you give.  Let me find the Divine in you." 

Tears on the Grave of Certainty


I have lost things

I have lost people

But you

You are neither

And yet when I think of 

The worst loss

The most painful loss

The most life changing loss

I think of you


I didn't get a sympathy card when you died

I didn't get a hug

I didn't get understanding

I just got lonely


You are dead to me

But alive to so many

You are their strength

A loss they may never mourn


So what do I do

Where do I go

Who do I trust

When do I believe

Why does this still hurt


Here's the irony

If I could resurrect you

Bring you back to life

I would walk past your grave

Leave my tears

And let you lie


© Ruby Neumann


Poet's Note: Written February 4, 2022.  I think some of my favourite and most honest expressions of poetic verse come to me when I am in the hot tub.  When I made the tombstone picture, I couldn't put a date on it.  This loss has been slow and over a span of time I can't nail down in my own mind, much less put on a tombstone.   This morning,  I was thinking about losses in my life that have gone unnoticed.  This poem is for them too.  The hugs and cards are absent, yet the pain is very present.